I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
