happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
