Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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