I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
