I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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