If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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