I got chris browned last night
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
