I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
