Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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