My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize