I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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