I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize