So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i think my cat just said my name.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
