I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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