How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
