Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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