Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize