I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
