ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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