Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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