I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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