you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
