Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Randomize
