operation harelip BJ is a go
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
