So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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