Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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