Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
