i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize