I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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