ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
