Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
