Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
