oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
