You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
