I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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