these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
