and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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