How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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