umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
