I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
