I hate your face
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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