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his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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