Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
