This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
