so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Randomize
