There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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