someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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