so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
