i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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