she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
