Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
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