I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize