ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
