Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
