weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
