It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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