Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
