I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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