This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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