PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i drank out of a bidet.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
