Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
