how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
